Character Building

Just recalling the second to last sleep in my previous abode. The little shed, just a stones-throw from the beach and with all its quirks, was definitely a fitting home for the past 6 months . I am fairly certain that the cockroaches, ants, mice, cats and all the other vertebrate and invertebrate creatures I shared my home with are missing me. Weighing in at a meagre 5 paces by 8 paces (that’s without my queen sized bed and large refrigerator in it) with a toilet and shower, teeny kitchen, multiple creaks, leaks and holes the shed has become somewhat of a legend.

I feel like the makeshift tin palace came to me at a crucial time and many important and memorable events have occurred in or during my time there.

However, the annoying mower man who upturns my outdoor furniture leaving a hurricane of disarray I will not miss. Seriously, I think he must have very few clients, way too much time or be anal about completion – the path of destruction which he weaves is all in the name of mowing about 3 blades of grass and a hole which is currently uninhabited by anything living or even resembling grass at all. I had been trying to encourage grass growth out in my tiny patch of outdoor area since I arrived and the relentless mowing was far from helping my cause.

I had parts of the roof fall down on me whilst sleeping – fortunately nothing structurally important. I guarantee the new inhabitant will not face a significant risk of asphyxiation – the place is extremely well ventilated, with delightful character slat glass windows in mint condition from when the shed used to house a motor vehicle and possibly various gardening implements. Its kind of a pity I had the shed through the winter months when you least desire a fresh breeze and rather appreciate insulation, of which the place has none. Although the garage door doesn’t open anymore it is still there for authenticity's sake, fairly sure the place has no building consent, some Brazilian favelas are likely to be more structurally sound.

Possibly the best feature of the shed was the ‘surprise factor’ for first time visitors. I usually forewarned them that I resided in a shed and they would imagine some cosy wee studio or granny flat or even a garage attached to a modern home. When coming down my narrow driveway all you can see is this grandiose white home looming at the end, my guess is the visitors are breathing a sigh of relief and muttering under their breath “oh, it can’t really be that bad then”. Then they get to the end of the drive and take a brief glance to the left, only to discover with some dismay that my description was not exaggerated and their ‘amended’ vision of the place was certainly a rose-colored one.

In saying all of this I was very very happy there and as the move in came at a time of change and was symbolic, so was the move out.

C.K.